9 Signs You’re a Barbarian

Before turning to Lord Jesus Christ, I was a barbarian living in total darkness. I thought I was a champion of sex but I was really a champion of delusion. I knew practically nothing about Christianity or even God though I was baptized in the Armenian Church as a child. As God is continued to be stripped bare from Western culture, we will become surrounded by barbarians who know nothing except the trifling daily concerns of modern life and the desires of their bodies. Here are some signs that you may be a barbarian…

1. You think God is a genie in a bottle who must serve you with comforts

The barbarian opinion of God is that He is a genie who man wishes upon for material comforts, usually money. Since the poor are in greater need of resources than the rich, the “intelligent” barbarian concludes that God is an invention for the impoverished to embrace their lot, not understanding that it benefits Satan to engineer a global system of comfort instead of poverty, for in poverty at least people are reminded of their abject needs and reach out to a higher power. In fact, Satan does all that he can to satisfy your worldly needs because once he does so, you will become deceived that there is no need of God. This is why the most vehement atheists are those whose bodies are in a state of comfort, good health, and easy working conditions.

The truth is that all souls are in need of salvation, whether poor and rich, and as Lord Jesus Christ taught, the rich will find it much more difficult to enter the Kingdom of Heaven because of their riches. Therefore poverty is a blessing given to those whom in riches would have forsaken God and been condemned.

2. You don’t know what Easter (Pascha) is about

I did not know what Easter was when I become a Christian. I knew it was an important Christian holiday, but my mind associated it more with eggs and rabbits than its real meaning: the resurrection of Lord Jesus Christ from the dead. Through this fulfillment of scripture and Law, our Lord defeated death for all those who call upon His name through hundreds of witnesses who saw His resurrected flesh, proof of the eternal nature of our souls. Easter also reminds Christians of all the pain and suffering that Lord Jesus Christ took on behalf of our sins, that in appearing in space and time as fully God and fully human, He served as the only rightful intercessor between us and God the Father, and by denying his salvific work, we merely crucify Him again.

3. You think all passions and appetites are “natural”

You want to eat a tub of ice cream. That’s “natural” because you have a mouth and stomach and felt the urge to eat. You want to watch pornography and masturbate all day. That’s “natural” because animals have the ability to become aroused. You want to dedicate your life to accumulating money. That’s “natural” because we are supposed to accumulate resources to impress mates who love money. You want to fornicate with anything that moves, even of the same sex. That’s “natural” because all bodily holes can yield physical pleasure.

Barbarians confuse capability with God’s plan. I may be capable of murdering men, but doing so goes against the Commandments as given to me by God. His intent for our souls is to manage our appetites, detach ourselves from worldly pleasures, and have heterosexual sex only within the confines of marriage. Barbarians love to brag about their accomplishments as they exalt themselves before other humans, but the second they want to justify committing carnal sin, they are quick to compare themselves to the dogs.

4. You believe it’s important to have a “sex life”

Barbarians are obsessed with sex. Not an hour goes by in their life that they’re not fantasizing about it, planning for it, scheming for it. They look at the sliver of flesh between their legs and say to themselves, “This is what I live for! Unless that sliver of flesh is rubbed up against someone, I will be unhappy and miserable from a lack of sex life!” If barbarians get sex, they’re happy for a moment, and when that moment ends, they become sad and try to have sex again. If they don’t get sex, they think their life is bad, and begin a crusade of anger against the opposite sex for not giving them the sex they think they deserve.

With an obsession for sex comes an obsession with the body. Everything about it must be fussed over, examined, and optimized. Every hair must be in the proper place. The most visible muscles (chest and bicep for men, butt and legs for women) must be targeted with the most rigorous of bodybuilding programs. And then when the body ages, and it is apparent that the sex life will be hurt, it’s off to the doctor to pay for hormone therapies and plastic surgeries.

5. You think the point of fasting is to improve your bodily appearance or health

In the secular world, the only time you hear about fasting is when someone is trying to lose weight or get rid of “toxins,” because wouldn’t you believe that when you get older, your body starts to degrade on its way to death. Fasting in such a manner is always done for worldly gain, and I’ve known a few men who tried to sell me on this fast or that while going on about antioxidants.

In the Orthodox world, fasting is done to build a closer relationship with God. Anything which you’re attached to in this world will block your faith, as the “daily bread” in the Lord’s Prayer is not only literal bread but spiritual bread. Eating much less than you are able teaches you that it’s not even food that is most important in your life, of which you’d certainly die from lack, but faith, of which a lack would lead to eternal death.

6. The first person you reach out to when sick is a medical doctor

Orthodox Christians believe every illness permitted by God is given to us for our spiritual benefit. I may not ever know the specific benefit, but illness is one of the most useful tools in God’s toolbox to bring people to repentance and make them contemplate their salvation.

When a barbarian is sick, they rush to the atheist doctor, hoping for all manner of drugs and vaccines to cure them, but as a Christian, I rush to the prayer corner. God allowed this sickness to happen for a reason that only He knows, so I will seek God’s counsel through prayer to endure the illness and—only if necessary—seek out the care of doctors whose healing abilities have become more influenced by money and global politics than actual concern for my well being.

7. You’re trying to be “the best version” of yourself

Barbarians think of themselves as a blank canvas that needs to be improved upon instead of as a creation of God—with flaws and all—that has been fully endowed with the required physical, mental, and emotional abilities and strengths to be saved. Many barbarians take the blank canvas metaphor literally by covering themselves with tattoos and other mutilations, thinking that they can improve their aesthetics to those with the same delusion. Others take the route of self-improvement and change the entirety of their lives, including all their thought and behavioral patterns, to become a master in one exceedingly narrow domain, like making money or getting laid, yet all that these changes accomplish is making you the most grotesque version of yourself. The further you are from God, the more grotesque you become, and the punishment for your calculated and sleazy journey to become someone you’re not is that when the worldly benefits all dry up, you will not even want to look at yourself in the mirror.

8. You’re fallen for numerous globalist lies, if not all of them

Barbarians are a puppet of their oligarch slavemasters, falling for most of their lies. To my great shame, I fell for many lies, including casual sex, fame-seeking, urban Cosmopolitan living, being attractive through personality and physical changes, alcohol, caffeine, and seeking “experiences and memories” through travel. If money can be made through sin, a big business that is supported by an oligarch is not far.

If someone does not have God in their life, they’re susceptible to falling for the biggest lies, and who is in charge of the lies today but the princes of this world, who know that the further you are away from God, the more likely you will be their slave.

9. You hope for a better life in this life

To the barbarian, tomorrow will be better. They will gain more in life, have more sex, conquer something new, attain more power, and from these achievements all their problems will be solved. They believe today is just a waystation to a more glorious earthly future that will come from their own intellect and effort, but what actually happens is they become dopamine chasers, pursuing pathetic bursts of a neurochemical just to get through another hour due to the lack of God in their life.

I have no hope for this life. We are steadily descending into hell, approaching the moment when the Antichrist makes his appearance and we Christians will wish to have instead lived in the time of Nero. My only hope is that I will maintain my faith until the very end and go to Lord Jesus Christ ready to be judged. Everything else is simply a trial of faith until my time here is finished.

Conclusion

I was a barbarian in every respect of this list. I was a 39-year-old man who didn’t know what Easter was, who didn’t understand God’s saving plan for humanity and decided that I knew all there had to be about the world and how to save myself. I don’t need to remind you that my plan led to internal misery, of hovering over the abyss. I was suffering, grieving, and spiritually dead. Turning away from the darkness of ignorance, I decided that I did not want to be a barbarian anymore but a child of God, and thankfully God answered.

I look back at my barbarian beliefs and habits and cringe that I was so foolish, but such is our delusions when we worship ourselves or false idols. We don’t need to read the history books to study the barbarians—we are surrounded by them, stifled by them, but we must not let these hordes disturb the faith we have in our sweet Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.