Femininity: Celebrating the God-Given Differences Between Men & Women

A feminine woman rejoices in the different natures of men and women, realizing that she has been created to be a godly woman, not an inferior man.

Editor's note: In his introductory article — How to Attract a Christian Spouse - Marriage Advice From a Christian Dad — the author introduced the Keyboard Model for identifying the traits that most Christian men look for in a potential wife. The first three traits are attractivenesssubmissiveness, and domesticity. This next article discusses the fourth trait, which is femininity.

Femininity is the 4th element of the Keyboard Model, identifying the traits that godly men look for when seeking a wife.    

Femininity overlaps substantially with the other characteristics of a godly wife, but is still important to consider from an overarching perspective:

  • A feminine woman works at making herself physically Attractive to her husband.
  • A feminine woman nurtures a spirit of Submissiveness in response to her husband's decisions, and also in response to the teachings of the Fathers of the Holy Orthodox Church.
  • A feminine woman is willing to be Domestic, holding to the standard of being content at home, as set forth in the book of Proverbs. For a feminine woman, raising godly children is one of the ultimate standards of success.

As such, Femininity is a holistic band surrounding the other characteristics. 

A feminine woman rejoices in the very different natures of men and women, realizing the gifts God grants to faithful women to be truly women and not inferior men.

A godly feminine woman has a great gift of insight and intuition. Many times the solution to a difficult problem that a man will fail to attain by his reason will be solved by the kind, gentle suggestion of a Feminine wife.

A godly feminine woman has an innate appeal to those who are weary from a world drenched in materialism, consumerism, degeneracy and all sorts of false idols that leave one drained and lonely.

A godly feminine woman is the heart of her home — the centerpiece of that mystical representation of Christ (her husband) and Church.

In short, the feminine woman, by her very existence, reinforces the godly order. She does not resent the submission due her husband, because she recognizes that God has ordained it for martial, familial, and societal harmony.

This sort of Femininity is extremely attractive to godly men.


In the first three articles, we talked about physical attractiveness, submissiveness, and domesticity. Then we discussed femininity. In an upcoming article, we plan to focus on the importance of godliness.


As you read this series of articles, it is important to remember that these attributes are not guarantees of finding a godly spouse. Rather, these are the general rules (usually unspoken & unwritten) that drive attraction between men and women.

Over the years, I have heard countless sad stories from Christian men and women who struggle in their searches for a spouse, and unfortunately, many of them simply don't seem to understand the key factors that cause godly men and women to be attracted to one another.

There are normal and natural considerations which are largely (although not entirely) under your control. Thus, if you understand what these considerations are, there are various choices you can make, in order to increase your own relative attractiveness as a potential marriage partner. Understanding these things, and working on these things, can make it easier for you to find a godly spouse.

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