Teachers must teach students not only to read and write, but also the fear of God, and to live an honest life. Indeed, literacy without the fear of God is nothing more than the sword of a madman.
Punish the faulty and lazy and self-willed with rods, and sometimes with words.
Some parents raise and support their children so tenderly and weakly that they do not want to punish them for their crimes, thus allowing them to live fearlessly and willfully. Others use immeasurable severity and inflict their anger and rage on them rather than punish them. Both of them make mistakes. For excess is vicious; severity and reckless mercy in any rank are condemned. This leads young people, naturally inclined towards all evil, into relaxation, self-will, corruption, and obvious destruction; the other creates grief, irritation and despondency in them. Everywhere, moderation and the middle path are praised. For this reason, pious parents must adhere to the middle path.
From the position of parents and children:
1. As soon as children begin to come to their senses and understand teaching, they should immediately be nourished with the milk of piety and brought into the knowledge of God and Christ the Son of God: Who is God, in whom we believe, and remember His name, and confess and pray to Him? Who is Christ and how should He be revered? Why are we all born into this world and baptized, and what do we expect after death?
Our present life is nothing more than the path along which we go towards eternity, good - to become eternally prosperous, evil - to receive eternal suffering. We are not born into this world for the sake of honor, wealth, sweet food, beautiful clothes, rich houses and other things, for we leave all this behind at death. But we are born in order to live piously here, and to please God, and after death to go to Him and abide in His eternal bliss.
Otherwise, if we were born into this life, then we would have to remain here forever; but we see the opposite. For we are born to another life and enter on the path of this world in order to reach it. For this reason, we are baptized, and we believe in God and Christ the Son of God, and we call upon His name, and we go to church and pray, that we may receive from Him that future bliss. All this and other things must first be offered to young children, so that when they come to age, they come to the knowledge of God and the Christian office and hope.
From here you can expect good hope in a young heart when it begins to be educated in this way. For both evil and good take strong roots in the youthful heart; and what we learn in our youth, having come to perfect age, we remain, like a young tree, to which side it leans, it stands to the end. For this reason, youth needs such a pious upbringing. And when the parents themselves either cannot, or their title does not allow them to do this, they need to look for such mentors and teach their children. Many teach their children foreign languages and arts, but do not teach them in the matter of piety, which is why it is clear that they themselves do not know it, although they are called Christians.
It is useful for the sake of society and commerce to teach foreign languages; but the sacraments of the faith must be taught, and they must be taught without fail, and “there is only one thing that is needed” (Luke 10:42). What is it like in French or any other language, when the tongue is taught, but the heart is not taught good? The tongue flows well and eloquently, but the heart is empty without faith and emits the stench of unbelief, which is a disaster for both careless parents and children.
2. Since, according to Scripture, “the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord” (Ps. 110:10), first the fear of God should be implanted in young hearts; for youth, naturally inclined to evil, is turned away from it by nothing more than this fear, like every person. And in order to plant the fear of God in their hearts, they need to be often reminded that God is everywhere, and is present with every person, and that no matter what a person does or thinks, he sees, and no matter what he says, he hears. For God will judge every word and deed and evil thought. He is angered by sin, and He will judge. He will deliver sinners to eternal torment, just as He will reward righteous people for their good deeds... This must first be ingrained in them, so that they not only openly, but also secretly avoid all evil, so that, like children before their parents, slaves before their masters, and subjects before the authorities, they do nothing indecent, but act reverently, as if they were before God. They would act and walk with fear and think that God is with them, and that He sees all their actions, and that He can show them when they do something bad. Although it happens that a person does not see a bad deed, God, who is greater than all the light, and who is the Judge of all, sees everything. From such teaching and reasoning about God, the fear of God can be instilled in the young, which both the old and the old need to remember...
3. Children who commit misdeeds should be punished by their parents. So the word of God commands them: “Do not leave the young man unpunished: if you punish him with a rod, he will not die; you will punish him with a rod and save his soul from hell” (Proverbs 23:13-14). We see that God Himself loves His children, and out of love He punishes them: “For the Lord punishes whom He loves; he beats every son whom he receives” (Heb. 12:6). Likewise, earthly parents must follow God and discipline their children out of love. For that paternal love is blind, which leaves faulty children without punishment; True and wise love is that which humbles their self-will with punishment. “Whoever spares his rod hates his son; but whoever loves disciplines him from childhood” (Proverbs 13:25).
4. We should not use immeasurable severity in punishment, as the Apostle commands: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, lest they become discouraged” (Col. 3:21), but act in the middle way, as said above.
5. Present yourself to children as an image of good deeds. For youth, and every age, is better taught to virtue by a good life than by words; Especially young children have as a rule the lives of their parents; so that what they notice in them, they do themselves, whether it be good or bad, whatever they see. For this reason, parents should both guard against temptations and set an example of virtuous living for their children when they want to instruct them in virtue. Otherwise they won’t be able to do anything. For they look more at the lives of their parents and imagine this in their young souls, rather than listening to their words. Every mentor’s word, combined with life, is a fair and strong instruction; how much more so is parental instruction.
6. The very nature of parents attracts and convinces them to love children: even dumb people love their offspring. For the sake of this, there is no need to mention this, if only it would not be reckless love, as stated above.
7. Parents should pray to God for their children, so that He Himself may instruct them in His fear and make them wise for salvation.
8. It is very harmful to neglect the correct upbringing and punishment of children. It is harmful both for the parents and for their children, as everyone can see from what has been described above. History testifies to Eli, the priest of Israel, who, because he did not properly raise and did not punish his sons for their insolence, as a result — he and his children were punished by God.
Saint Tikhon of Zadonsk